By: Suzanne Clark

There are many things about parenting that I feel passionately about….spanking, threatening, bribing, over-indulging, complacency….I could go on…..but, the one thing that seems to really send me up the tree is dvd players in the backseat of any car, handheld video games at the dinner table in a restaurant, and, really, any other form of technology that is overused to prevent parents from parenting.

My husband is a technology nut. It’s what he does. His career success is defined by the many facets of information he has stored in his brain about technology. He is an electrical engineer, and is passionate about how things work and how he can make them work better and faster. Our home is wired for everything. There are boxes and boxes and boxes of what I will call ‘wires and things’ in the garage. The closet under our staircase (the one most people use to store Christmas decorations) has been deemed Mission Control for our home. There is an entire wall dedicated to ‘plugs and wires’ that control the home automation system my husband designed and installed into our house as it was being built. Just to give you an example…..we have a button near the front door that we call ‘the goodnight button.’ At the end of the evening, as we drag ourselves upstairs to bed, we push this button and every light in the house turns-off, the alarm arms, and the lamp at the top of the stairs turns on. I’m sure you’re saying to yourself, wow, that’s cool, but, is it really necessary?? No, of course not. But, this is what my husband does as his hobby. I could give you 50 more examples – things like – when the phone rings at our house there is an announcement throughout the entire house (because we have ceiling speakers throughout the entire house, even in the garage) that announces (in my husband’s voice) who is calling and who they are calling for. “Suzanne, you have a call from……Pam.” Again, cool, but, not necessary for the survival of mankind.

I say all this to set the stage for what I am about to tell you. We DO NOT have a dvd player in our minivan. On the sad, sad day we had to buy our van (We were not happy about being minivan owners), we were offered the dvd player option. My poor, poor husband had to sit silently as I explained to the poor, poor salesman that, No, we didn’t want the dvd player, and No we didn’t need the navigation system (I sort of regret that one), and, NO we would not consider adding it at a later time.

My rationale is this:

My time with my children is precious. I enjoy their company. I enjoy the silly things they have to say. I like to know what they see when they look out the window and spot something new for the first time. I want them to know what boredom is so that they learn creativity and patience. I don’t want to have to put Dora the Explorer on in the car because they need to be entertained on the way to the grocery store. I’d rather listen to them whine, bicker and cry, or, listen to them laugh, play games together and know I genuinely enjoy all of our moments together.

In doing this, we have another opportunity to add to the solid foundation we want to provide for our children. It may seem silly to put so much emphasis on one, silly, little dvd player. But, when you think about it, and think about all the time you spend in the car with your kids, there are a lot of opportunities missed while the kids are watching a dvd, and you’re talking on your cell phone.

By: Suzanne Clark

I recently participated in a job interview and was asked how my family obligations would interfere with the expectation of my employer that I work two to three nights a week.  I could easily answer this question because for years now I have worked some evenings, and, still managed to incorporate as much family time possible.  Incorporating real family time into an already hectic schedule can be trying, but, to me, is worth every exhausting minute.

On days that I have to work during the day and also work in the evenings, I still make it a point to take my kids to school, pick them up and make them dinner.  Some may be thinking – wow, that’s great – you mean you get a whole hour with them that day?  Yes, you’re right. The drop off/pick-up and dinner probably only totals about an hour, but, it’s a great hour – one that keeps us connected.  Believe me, it would much easier to have my husband do the running around on these 12-hour work day, but parenting isn’t about convenience. It’s about, well, parenting.

Even in the midst of my hectic life as a working (outside the home) mom, my family in the forefront of my mind.  I’m honest about the fact that I work to fill a personal need of my own. I do what I love and love what I do.  That said, I also firmly believe that although my career is important to me, it is nothing compared to the wellbeing of my family.

My family trumps it all – meaning that at any moment work takes a backseat to my family’s needs.  Being proudly and comfortably resigned to this makes family/work decisions very easy.  When there is a conflict between time with my family and time at work, family wins.