by Pam Parish

We live in a society that doesn’t value honor or respect. As parents, this one is hard work and we don’t have a choice in it - we must teach our children the values of respect and honor. We are all born with the “ME” syndrome, obsessively looking out for me first, what’s best for me, how do I satisfy me, on and on. It’s not until we are taught the value of putting others before ourselves and considering their needs first that we begin to understand the importance of these characteristics in our lives.

It’s extremely important that we teach our children these values, because without them they will become selfish, uncaring children and adults. We want others to see the best in our children, to see those characteristics about them that we know are so valuable and loving. However, if they can’t show respect and honor, they’ll be labeled as selfish, bullheaded and thoughtless of others. For most people, they will not be able to look past this selfishness. And, clearly, this is not how we want our children to be labeled.

One simple rule we have in our home is that our children are not allowed to address adults by their first names. They have been taught to call adults Mr. & Ms. (last name or first name), or by their family/familiar name (i.e. Pastor, Aunt, Uncle, Papaw, Mamaw, etc.). It’s a simple rule that has a profound impact not only on the way our girls show respect to their elders, but also in the respect they receive in return. You’d be amazed at how many people think extremely highly of our daughters, simply because they addressed them by Mr. or Ms. - from that point on most adults usually see our girls as respectful, well-behaved young ladies. You see, we’re teaching our girls that when you give respect and honor, you usually get it in return. Here are a few sub-rules as it relates to respect and honor:

• Treat every person with kindness and respect no matter their age, social status or race
• Always show respect to those who are older and wiser than you are
• Honor those in authority around you
• Obedience is a show of respect and honor, be quick to obey

Parents, this applies to you too.

As easy as it is to say that we need to teach our children to be respectful and honoring toward us and other adults, we have to remember that we bear a large responsibility also. Namely, being respectful and honoring to our children and to others in front of our children. Remember, your children will not always follow the motto, “Do as I say and not as I do” - they watch your life and emulate it.

If you are not respecting and honoring them, it will be hard for them to honor and respect you. Oh, they may force themselves to “comply” with your “rules” but their heart attitude will be one of bitterness and resentment toward you as they do it. The goal for you as a parent is to be respectful and honoring toward your children so that even when they disagree with what you’re asking of them, they respect you because they know that you’re considering their point of view and that you are making the decision according to what you feel is their best interests. We’ll discuss how to get to this place of respect for your children in another post.